You guys, I think I’m stressed.
(Is that a thing that one should know definitively: whether or not one is stressed?)
This year I have self-diagnosed myself as depressed, apathetic, overwhelmed, and other fun things, but for some reason I didn’t think of myself as stressed until I read some list of weird physical signs of stress online. (No, I don’t remember where I read it.) The sign that really struck me and made me think that, y’know, I may be stressed was hair loss. Now, I shed all the time (and I have the often-clogged shower drains to prove it), but it has seemed really excessive over the last month or so. It’s not like I’m developing bald spots or anything, but I can’t put my hands in my hair without pulling out a strand or two. My original theory was that DIY hair color was really killing my hair, but now I’m leaning towards stress.
It’s not like losing my hair is the only sign of stress, either. Remember how I said I was determined to start eating better after the Fourth? Yeah, that’s not gonna happen as long as I keep buying ice cream and TastyKakes at Target. It’s funny though, because I don’t feel like I’m stress eating, but I do seem to be stress food buying.
And then there was the other day when I spent a 20 minute “nap” daydreaming about cigarettes. I don’t think I’ve even had a cigarette in two years, but it appears that I want one now. I’ve only ever been a social smoker, but sometimes I really want a cigarette. Luckily I don’t spend much time at convenience stores, so it is unlikely that I will actually buy any. (This is literally the only good thing about the lack of open Wawas.)
Yeah, this whole being stressed thing isn’t any fun. I cannot wait for this semester to be over.