Thanks But No Thanks

Do you know what I hate? I hate when I’m walking towards a door and there’s someone several yards in front of me. I just know that the person in front of me will hold the door for me (especially if it’s a dude) and I will curse him or her in my head/under my breath.

Why do I get mad at someone who thinks he’s doing a good deed? Because I don’t think he’s doing a good deed. In fact, I think he’s being a selfish asshole. See, in that situation, where someone is holding a door open for me even though I wasn’t particularly close to the door when they went through it, I feel like an asshole if I don’t speed up and relieve them of their door-holding as quickly as possible. And that’s not fair. I was perfectly content with whatever speed I was walking. Who the hell are you to make me walk faster?

I don’t know, maybe normal people aren’t bothered by this. But it has been a pet peeve of mine for ages.

So here’s my suggestion: If the person walking behind you is more than 3 or 4 steps back, don’t stand there and hold the door. I’m sure most people would not fault you for that. There’s an obvious caveat to my suggestion, however: If you can tell that the person walking behind you will have difficulty opening the door (because he’s pushing a stroller or her arms are full of boxes), then you stand there and hold the damn door. In that case, you’re an asshole if you don’t hold the door open.

Until tomorrow.

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