Phillies: Hi, we’re the 2012 Philadelphia Phillies. We are legitimately in the playoff race, but tonight we’ve decided to let the Houston Astros’ AAAA pitcher look like Cy effing Young. Enjoy the shitshow!
Kristin: Fine. Be that way. I’m super excited for tonight’s Doctor Who anyway. Ben Browder in the Old West – woohoo!
Doctor Who: Hi, here’s an unsettling, unfun episode that only serves to make you more nervous about Amy and Rory’s impending departure. Plus, not nearly enough Ben Browder. Relish it.
Kristin: Whatever. I don’t want to think about that. It’s time for some music.
iPod on Shuffle: Hi, here’s Aaron Lewis from Staind covering Pearl Jam’s “Black.” You wanted music to slit your wrists to, right?
Kristin: *gives up and goes to bed*