The Opposite Of Customer Service

I noticed some water damage in my house several weeks ago, which sucks. Luckily, my house is still under warranty. So I called the builder and they had one of their customer service reps call me to schedule a time for him to come check it out. I was literally packing my bags to go to my parents’ when he called, so I told him I wasn’t available until the next Friday, 7/19. We made plans for him to come on 7/19 “after lunch” (his words).

Well, for some reason that defies my understanding, he came to my house on Wednesday and was shocked to discover that I wasn’t there two days before I’d said I was available. He left one of those “sorry I missed you” hanger things on my door and left an indecipherable message on my voicemail. (I ignored the voicemail because I literally could not understand a word of it.)

I left my parents’ house on Friday morning and got home around 11-ish. Normally I’d check my front porch for packages  after being gone for a week but I knew I’d be opening my door at some point in the afternoon so I figured it could wait. At 2-ish I decided to check my mail so I opened my front door and found the thing hanging on the doorknob. I was so mad that this asshat showed up two days ahead of schedule and had the audacity to leave something on my door as if I’d fucked up the meeting time that I was shaking. But I calmed myself down as I walked to the mailboxes and called the number on the door thingy (which was the number that had left the indecipherable voicemail).

So the dude tells me that he had been to my house at 12:45 that afternoon but he saw the thing was still hanging on the door and he assumed that I was on vacation and he just turned around and left without even ringing the damn doorbell. Meanwhile, I was in my goddamn living room listening to podcasts waiting for him to show up. I explained that I had been on vacation (which is sorta true) but I’d gotten home at 11 that morning and I just hadn’t opened my front door until 2. (I have a garage; I almost never use my front door.) He apologized (but not nearly enough to satisfy me) and asked when we could reschedule. I had no interest in making his life easy, so I told him I wasn’t available again until the next Friday. (Honestly, he’s lucky I didn’t demand someone less stupid to deal with and tell him to go fuck himself.)

He actually showed up on the proper day this time. (He was a little late, but I decided not to bring it up because if he can’t figure out a calendar then I really shouldn’t expect him to understand clocks.) And now some contractor is supposed to call me on Monday. I can’t wait.

So, yeah, this is the rant that’s been bouncing around in my head for a week. Why does shit like this happen to me? Why do I get stuck with the “customer service” rep who decides to show up two days early for an appointment? It’s called an appointment because you’re supposed to show up at the appointed time; you don’t get bonus points for showing up early. In fact, if you show up too early for an appointment you look like a giant inconsiderate asshole.

Until tomorrow.

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