Why Am I Still Watching This?

I cannot tell you how many times I asked myself that question in the ninth inning. And at some level the answer is money. I spent money I didn’t have on MLB.tv and by God I am going to watch every second of every Phillies game that isn’t blacked out. I will get my money’s worth, dammit. That’s not to say that it’s only about the money (after all, part of it is Philly sports fan masochism), but the money is the first thing I think off when I consider turning off a complete shitshow like tonight’s ninth inning.

The game started off so well, too. I love so much that Brad Lidge retired as a Phillie (Phillies? what is the singular of “Phillies?”) and his first pitch tonight made me feel feelings. It figures that the game started with tributes to the hero closer of 2008 and ended with the current dipshit fucktard closer blowing another save. If only he’d been traded (seriously, that was the one move I REALLY wanted the Phils to make). And I know it isn’t entirely the dipshit fucktard’s fault, but I don’t care. I hate him and I have no interest in being fair and/or rational. I hate everything that comes out of his big, stupid mouth (see, for example, his comments after tonight’s game). I hate how ridiculously long his innings take even when they’re going well. I hate that he sucks and that he’s grossly overpaid and that he is pretty much trade kryptonite as a result.

I’m almost glad the Phillies lost tonight (even though the Giants tried so hard to give them the game early in the bottom of the ninth) because it means that the dipshit fucktard didn’t get another win after a blown save. I want nothing more than for the team to turn on him; the season is finished anyway, so let’s have some drama.

The Phillies are supposed to be my one distraction from my shitty life, but they’re pretty terrible right now. This could lead to some super angry/bitter/depressed blog posts. Can’t wait.

Until tomorrow.

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