I had fun sharing my opinions on the Grammys last year, so I decided to do it again 🙂 And this year I’m going to update this draft in the WordPress app during the ceremony, which should allow me to go to bed much earlier than I did last year.
I even started watching the TV Guide Network red carpet show (even though I knew better) because I got bored playing iPad games. What the hell was up with Randy Jackson’s glasses? The lenses were magnifying his eyes. It was weird.
Okay, on to the show.
Taylor Swift = creepy. I don’t like clowns, or circuses (but that’s mostly because of the clowns). And I’ll probably have that song stuck in my head for hours now.
Ed Sheeran & Elton John = anger that Ed Sheeran received “top billing.” Who in the hell is Ed Sheeran? (No, seriously, I have no idea who he is.) Also, this really just made me think of the Eminem & Elton John performance of “Stan” from forever ago. But “Stan” was better.
Adele won another Grammy. Is it still 2012? Actually, I’m glad she won and not Carly Rae Jepsen.
fun. = surprise that they did “Carry On” instead of “We Are Young.” And their weird, shiny shirts made sense when it started raining on them.
Is John Mayer wearing a purple jacket?
Miranda Lambert & Dierks Bentley = time to catch up on Twitter. I’m more than a little embarrassed that I knew how to spell his name without looking it up.
Okay, that throwback clip of LL on American Bandstand was adorable.
Those old white guys next to Wiz Khalifa look horrified. Ha! But I thought LL said Miguel and Wiz Khalifa were presenting an award, not performing. Oh, okay, now they’re presenting. A country award. Alrighty then. Also, is it weird that I kinda love Wiz Khalifa’s suit?
Yay fun. won! (And Carly Rae Jepsen didn’t!) Am I crazy or did Faith Hill & Tim McGraw clearly not know who the hell fun. is? Oh, Nate Ruess, you’re adorable.
Holy crap, Johnny Depp!
Mumford & Sons = quite good. That song is growing on me.
On the whole, that was not worth missing a new episode of Once Upon a Time. Maybe I’ll learn that someday.
Ellen, please stop making Beyonce feel awkward. You’re standing between the audience and a Justin Timberlake performance!
Justin Timberlake = finally! This is the reason I’m watching the Grammys. How cute is it that CBS used an Instagram filter on the performance? This is the first time that Jay-Z’s verse hasn’t seemed completely unnecessary to me. And that other song was pretty good too, but it reminded me of the songs I always skip on his other records. Is it just me or are Jessica Biel’s bangs really severe?
Oh good, they’re still nominating Chris Brown for awards. Not. I haven’t listened to Channel Orange yet, but thank God Frank Ocean won. And how cute is his mom? (That’s his mom, right? I think he said it was his mom.)
Apparently I have to buy JT’s new record at Target. I’m not averse to that.
Yay the Black Keys won! How adorably awkward are Dan Auerbach and Patrick Carney?
Maroon 5 & Alicia Keys = meh. I like them both, but I don’t know that Maroon 5 song and I don’t really like that Alicia Keys song (partially that Visa commercial’s fault). And I don’t know how I feel about Alicia Keys playing drums.
Good for Kelly Clarkson! Not loving her as a blonde, though.
Rihanna = meh. I like her (fun fact: my autocorrect knows “Rihanna”), but don’t know this song. And who is that guy?
Why am I being subjected to Carly Rae Jepsen speaking??
Great acceptance speech, Jay-Z 🙂
“Oh good, Herbal Essences brought back the fake orgasm commercials,” said no one ever.
The Black Keys & Dr. John = amazing! I didn’t know it was possible for “Lonely Boy” to be better than it is on the record, but they made it better with that fantastic horn section. And I didn’t know it was kosher to perform in the same clothes you wore to the show.
This Kelly Clarkson thing is pretty good, but I really don’t get this thing with presenters performing a little something before getting down to the actual business of presenting the award. It’s confusing (see: Miguel and Wiz Khalifa earlier).
I’m glad they’re giving out a second country award during the telecast. It’s not like country music has a bunch of its own televised award shows or anything.
Bob Marley tribute = better that I expected. (I don’t like Marley or reggae at all, actually.) Oh, cool, Bruno Mars is playing “Locked Out of Heaven” instead of a Marley song; this I like. And his band is skanking, which is awesome! I see you playing bass, Sting. Not The Police song I was expecting, but I dig it. Oh, here comes the actual Bob Marley part of the Bob Marley tribute; that’s less awesome.
Why couldn’t they just let The Lumineers perform “Ho Hey” without making them introduce Jack White as well? It’s an awesome song; it deserves all the fanfare that goes along with an actual performance. And Taylor Swift is adorable, rocking out in the audience to a song she clearly loves.
Jack White = go away. I haven’t given a crap about him in at least five years, but he keeps insisting on putting out interchangeable music under different projects. It needs to stop.
Yay fun. won Best New Artist! I feel like I called that last year. Oh look, I kinda did.
Who is this person playing piano? Am I supposed to know him? Why was he not introduced by the voiceover announcer?
Carrie Underwood = meh. I didn’t even know she had music out right now (and I’m proud of that). Why were laser designs growing on her dress?
Holy crap, Prince! But why does he have a cane?
Pretty stoked for Gotye. And Prince said he loves the song! Are you not allowed to hug Prince?
Are they just not announcing the performers now? Or is my CBS station just coming back to the Grammys feed late?
Get off my TV, Ryan Seacrest! But Justin Timberlake makes it better.
In Memoriam = oh man, I forgot that person died and getting sad all over again. Cases in point: Davy Jones and MCA. Y’know, they should’ve done an MCA/Beastie Boys tribute.
And it’s another performance they aren’t announcing. Good job, Grammy producers. Wait, is Darin Ruf playing the mandolin? (I’m kidding, guys.) I seriously needed Twitter to tell me that this is the Levon Helm tribute.
Oh look, another performing presenter. But, yay, he’s doing “Your Song!” Bilingual “Your Song,” in point of fact. I love that song so much, you guys 🙂
Frank Ocean = alright, that settles it, I’m buying Channel Orange tomorrow. That was fantastic. And I loved the visual effects.
Aww, Adele is adorable.
I’m honestly surprised that Mumford & Sons won Album of the Year, but I’m not upset about it. Frankly, I was gonna be happy as long as it wasn’t Jack White.
LL Cool J = great (at least until CBS decided to show ads instead of the freaking performance). I wasn’t expecting much, but that was a lot of fun. And I appreciated the tiny, little MCA tribute.
Well, that was fun. The last 2.5 hours of the show were worth missing Downton Abbey. (Yep, my parents succeeded in turning me into a Downton Abbey fan.) You know what’s weird, though? I just found out that the Grammys were tape-delayed on the west coast again. Why do they keep doing that? Didn’t people complain about that a lot last year?
Oh, and my surmise when I started this post was correct; I am posting this much earlier than I posted last year’s.