I stopped at Wawa for gas on my way home this evening. It took me an hour to get there. (I normally make it all the way home in an hour. And Wawa is much closer to my office.) You guys know I adore Wawa, but I will not be doing that again.
I’m so used to having Wawas conveniently located everywhere that it confuses me that I have to go out of my way to get to them down here. Why can’t Wawa just be everywhere already?
See that sign? That’s at the end of my road. There’s been a big, empty lot there just waiting to be turned into a commercial space for as long as I’ve owned the house. I’ve always said that it would be the perfect spot for a Wawa. Well, I was right.
Of course, it would’ve been better if those bastards had built it a year ago. I kinda don’t want to sell my house now. (Kidding. I still fucking hate it.) Hey, I just realized that the Wawa is a selling point (or it would’ve been one to me); that’s awesome. Thanks, Wawa!
You can’t have joy without suffering, right? (Or some bullshit thing like that.)
Good News: They just opened a new Wawa that’s reasonably close to my house. (Nine miles counts as reasonably close, right?)
Bad News: It’s south of my house, which makes it completely out of my way. I only ever go south of my house when I need to go to SuperTarget (on those rare occasions when regular Target just doesn’t cut it).
Good News: As expected, the pumpkin spice cream smoothie at Wawa is delicious.
Bad News: Wawa didn’t have any TastyKake pumpkin pies.
Good News: I got three soft pretzels at Wawa.
Bad News: I already ate them all. (Not so much bad as dumb, but still.)
Good News: I had enough Target gift cards that I was able to justify buying Star Trek Into Darkness.
Bad News: I already watched it one and a half times. (The half is from the second time when I fell asleep.) (Again, this isn’t so much bad as dumb, but it is really dumb from a time-management perspective.)
I had a peach smoothie from Wawa today. It was…underwhelming (hence the disappointment). It had a strong peach flavor, which I look for in peach-flavored foods, but it tasted like canned peaches rather than fresh. It was a little too sweet (and there is nothing sadder to me than finding a food that is too sweet).
You know who used to have an awesome peach-flavored beverage? Chick-fil-A. Their peach milkshake was the best. But I don’t even know if they offer it anymore. I stopped paying attention to their seasonal offerings when I decided that I didn’t want to give my money to proud homophobes.
In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I love peaches. They’re my favorite fruit. I’ve been buying three peaches every time I get groceries, but somehow the third one keeps growing mold or something before I can eat it. It’s so frustrating, especially because none of them have been more than three days old. Maybe I should stop buying three peaches at once.
Wawa isn’t the only convenience store chain moving to the Tampa area; there’s also a chain called Thorntons, one of which just opened near my house.
I stopped at that Thorntons on my way home from Five Guys on Thursday. I needed gas and I was hoping they’d have some cut-up watermelon or something (I wanted watermelon, but almost any type of fruit would’ve been acceptable).
I have no complaints about Thorntons as a gas station. In fact, it’s the first gas station I’ve ever been to that has Flex Fuel, so good job, Thorntons. But as a convenience store it was awful. Awful, I say. It was cramped and kind of dark. It had almost nothing in the way of fresh food (and no fruit of any kind). It didn’t even have a decent selection of TastyKakes. It reminded me of the Sunoco near my parents’ house in PA only with the added smell of grilled meats. And I like hot dogs, but that smell was a little much.
I’m glad I went to Thorntons because I was curious about it, but I won’t be going back unless I’m desperate for gas.
I realized that I have nine (9!) different kinds of ice cream in my house. I had this realization while eating my third ice cream bar of the day. I’m clearly a grown-up.
Other things I ate today: three Wawa pretzels and a large Wawa caramel cream smoothie (which was insanely delicious, by the by). That’s pretty much it. When you combine that with the two naps of unknown length I took this afternoon I am the grown-up-iest grown-up that ever lived.
In other news, today is the third anniversary of Roy Halladay’s perfect game. I am always going to regret not watching that game. I didn’t have MLB.tv back then, but I had FoxSports Florida, which broadcasts all Marlins games. Of course, I didn’t realize that at the time, but that’s no excuse. Judging by how nervous I got watching several plays on that video – even though I knew what was going to happen – I probably would’ve stressed myself the hell out if I’d watched that game live. Hell, I remember how nervous I was watching Doc’s no-hitter in the NLDS; to this day my heart races when I watch footage of the last out of that game.
I went to Wawa for lunch today (because I could). And once again I asked the cashier about the lack of soft pretzels. And she kinda looked at me like I had three heads. (I don’t get how it’s a confusing question, but whatevs.) But then she asked the manager who was manning the register behind her. And he said, “end of the month.”
Apparently lots of people have been asking for pretzels. This does not surprise me in the slightest. And I think we should all get medals when Florida Wawas start carrying soft pretzels. Or at least free pretzels.
Mmm, free pretzels.
You guys already know about BuzzFeed, right? It’s the best. But also dangerous because it’s easy to lose track of time when you jump from one page to another. So don’t say I didn’t warn you 🙂
Today’s list is longer than usual because I just don’t want to pare it down. And I’m not even sure I’d want to if I weren’t low on energy thanks to my super-fun cold.
- In the Wawa-is-in-the-zeitgeist category, we have 22 reasons why Wawa is the greatest gas station on the planet. (A couple of quick notes, though. One, it’s hilarious to me that Emma Stone is eating Turkey Hill ice cream in that GIF. See, Turkey Hill is another Pennsylvania dairy turned convenience store. Turkey Hill ice cream is pretty amazing, though. Two, of course Johnny Knoxville has a Wawa tattoo. He knows what’s up. Remember, half the dudes from Jackass are from West Chester, PA. Knoxville isn’t, but he’s spent a lot of time in the area shooting the show and movies. And three, I find the characterization of the Wawa Welcome America Festival as a “freedom festival” odd. The Welcome America Festival is Philly’s big Fourth of July shindig. Sunoco used to hold the naming rights, but now Wawa does.)
- In the people-are-dumb category, we have 15 things that will annoy you if you are a music nerd. It’s pretty hilarious.
- In the I-want-to-go-to-there category, we have the 30 best places to be if you love books. Who knew there was such a thing as an abandoned Wal-Mart? I’m building a scenario in my mind wherein the residents of the town realized how evil Wal-Mart is and rose up against it. In reality, though, they probably just built a Super Wal-Mart in the next town and it stole all the customers. (Which is sad, but also kinda funny. I mean, Wal-Mart falling victim to Wal-Mart. Funny.)
- In the thanks-for-making-me-feel-old category, we have 15 things that happened 15 years ago. I had no idea that Google was founded the year I graduated from high school. I don’t think I heard of it until I was, like, a junior in college. Also, yep, I graduated from high school 15 years ago.
- In the adorable-animals-make-everything-better category, we have videos of animals that adopt other animals. The puppy that was adopted by a cat is just the cutest thing ever.
And now I really need to go to bed. Have I mentioned how much I do not enjoy being sick?
I’ve got some good stuff this week, you guys.
- In the potentially-irresponsible-reporting category, we have people reporting that Brand New might just put out new music this summer. I kinda freaked out when I read the headline of that Radio 104.5 post but then I read the article and was knocked back down to earth. I couldn’t believe that anyone was actually reporting a new Brand New record based on a now-deleted tweet from some guy who claimed to have spoken to Jesse Lacey at the Shone show. And now I’m sharing the link, so am I any better? I just couldn’t let it go without discussing it a little. I think I’m trying to will a new Brand New record into existence.
- In the aww-yeah-my-alma-mater-rules category, the hottest college of 2013 is Indiana University of Pennsylvania! I’m so proud 🙂 Two of my friends (fellow super-hot IUP alumni) shared the link on Facebook this afternoon and I had to read it immediately. Didja know that IUP was the top party school in the country 20 years ago? And now we’re the hottest college. But I will still have to explain the name of the school (no, it has nothing to do with the state of Indiana or any university there) in every job interview I ever have; it’s just not fair.
- In the weekly-adorable-animal category, we have Casanova, the Adventure Aquarium’s new baby penguin. The aquarium hasn’t set up a live stream of Casanova (if only!), but the video on Philly.com is face-meltingly cute.
In other news, I came up to my parents’ house yesterday. (I had to come up, there are fastnachts.) I stopped at the second Tampa Wawa (the one near USF) on my way. Let’s think about this story for a second. I stopped at Wawa on my way to my parents’ house to get fastnachts. It’s like I’m living in PA or something; it’s insane.
I (finally) got a meatball hoagie at Wawa and asked the cashier about soft pretzels. I intend to harass Wawa employees about soft pretzels until they get them or I leave, whichever comes first. (Oh please let it be me leaving.) I’m so glad that Wawa is here but they’re not really Wawas until they have pretzels.
But it’s okay because fastnachts are on their way down.
God bless my aunt. She’s the only one in the family who bothers to make fastnachts and she’s really conscientious about getting them to everybody, even those of us marooned in Florida. She even sent a group text to let us know that the fastnachts were done. (Side note: the text was hilariously long. Autocorrect changed “fastnachts” to “fast nachos” and then “fast aches” before she finally forced it to accept “fastnachts.” Third time’s the charm, right? In case you were wondering, my autocorrect knows “fastnachts.”)
I’m giving up two things for Lent this year: swearing (as always) and the snooze button. The really annoying thing is that I’d almost weaned myself from using the snooze button at the end of the year but then it became my best friend again. To the point that it’s a valid thing to give up for Lent. Wish me luck.
Oh crap, you guys, tomorrow’s Ash Wednesday. I’m supposed to be a vegetarian. But I want to go to the Wawa near USF and get a meatball sandwich. (And an Italian hoagie as well, but that saves better than a hot sandwich.) Stupid church rules ruining everything. (I know I’m not very Catholic and I don’t really agree with the Church on much, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t get mad at myself for failing to comply with this fairly easy dietary rule. There’s a line in the Kevin Devine song “Between the Concrete and Clouds” that refers to Catholicism as “the oil and the guilt” and I couldn’t agree more.) I mean, I know I could just go to Wawa on Thursday, but I want so badly to go tomorrow. Fuck. On the plus side, at least I realized this today and not tomorrow after I ate the meatball sandwich. Ooh, I really would’ve hated myself if that had happened.
Okay, well, I don’t know what I’m going to do tomorrow, but I need to stop thinking about it right now.