All’s Well That Ends Well

So my personal cheerleader finally received the package I shipped to her. And it only took 15 days. So glad I paid 18 bucks for that. (I am seriously considering asking UPS for a refund since they did screw me over.) Also, really stoked that no one at UPS ever bothered to inform me that they’d found the package. It’s not like I’m the sucker who paid them to ship it or anything.

I’m still angry because that’s more or less my default setting, but I have to give UPS credit. They cared that the package wasn’t delivered (after I persuaded them that, yes, I know your system says it was delivered, but my friend doesn’t have it). They offered me an option to deal with their mistake. And, hell, they rectified the situation. (I would really love to know where the package was for the last 10 days, though.)

So to recap: don’t ship anything ever, but if you must, use UPS. I mean, I suppose you could use FedEx (they haven’t screwed me over yet), but I have an irrational dislike of them.

Thus concludes the saga of shipping. I hope to God that I never have to blog about shipping ever again.

Until tomorrow.

I’m Cursed

It’s a very strange and specific curse, but that does not make it any less of a curse. I can neither ship nor receive packages of books without incident if a retailer isn’t involved. Can I receive books from Amazon? Yep, easy peasy. Can I ship books to Amazon (yay, textbook buy back!)? You betcha. Can my personal cheerleader and I send boxes of books to each other? No!

I’ve alluded to the giant clusterfuck that was the saga of her attempt to send me a box of books to borrow, but I’ve never really told the story. Here’s the short version: after waiting three weeks for a box (shipped via the cheapest USPS method – because it makes sense that it takes three weeks for USPS to send something 1,000 miles) I finally received a box addressed to me that did not contain what it should have. Apparently the original box was water damaged (there is a sticker to that effect on the box I got) and whoever was repackaging it is terrible at his/her job. So instead of 15 YA novels I got half a dozen Thomas the Tank Engine board books. I took the offending box back to the post office and told them that they’d given me the wrong stuff and was met with the blankest of blank stares. The manager on duty literally said, “gee, that’s weird.” No offers to do anything to make it right, just a giant “huh.” I gave them the Thomas books because I’m a good person and I felt terrible that I’d inadvertently stolen some kid’s books. The manager said she’d send a request to the facility that screwed me over, but I don’t believe she did because when I asked for a copy of the request a month later she was all, “whoops, I can’t find it.”

So that whole thing was beyond frustrating and made me loathe the post office and vow to never use them again unless I absolutely had to. But do you know what the worst part was? My personal cheerleader was letting me borrow those books so I wouldn’t have to buy any for my YA literature class and now her books are lost in the ether (or some asshole stole them). And it’s not like I could pay her back for the books because the whole point was that I don’t have any money. And I feel really, really responsible for the loss of those books (please note the use of present tense).

She eventually found a used book store near her house and put in an order for the lost books. Once the store found seven of the books she had them shipped to me. That package showed up just fine (because a retailer was involved, you see). I finished the last book in January but didn’t get around to shipping them until last week because I am lazy.

I chose UPS because there’s a UPS Store near my house and I’d used it before without incident. The guy at the UPS Store told me it would be delivered on Thursday (he all but guaranteed it). I checked the tracking number online Thursday afternoon and it said it was delivered but when I didn’t hear from my personal cheerleader I asked if she’d gotten the package and she said, “what package?” I told her and asked her to look again on Friday, but no luck. I finally called UPS last night (again, I’m lazy) and was told that I couldn’t ask them to open an investigation and I had to go back to the UPS Store to have them request an investigation (because that makes sense). This after the asshole phone menu didn’t want to let me speak with a person because my package had been delivered. (Yes, I just called an inanimate object an asshole, but I swear to you that I’m right about it.) I stopped at the UPS Store on my way home from Target this morning. The first thing the guy there said was, “the system says it was delivered.” And I was like, “I know that, yet here I am telling you that my friend didn’t get it.” Maybe trust the customer over the machine. Maybe. He claimed he’d request the investigation, but I don’t have much faith. Instead, I have the knowledge that if neither my personal cheerleader nor I hear anything by Friday I will be calling UPS again.

Just to recap: my personal cheerleader let me borrow books that are now lost. She bought replacements for half of them and the replacements are currently lost. I cannot begin to express how terrible I feel about that.

See, I’m cursed. But I’ve learned my lesson and I will never, ever try to ship anything ever again. Screw you, shipping companies.

Until tomorrow.

Yay

Remember last week when I contrasted my wonderful experience at the UPS Store with my hellish experience at the post office? (Yes, hellish. I hate slow-moving lines. And my years in retail taught me to despise checkout counters that aren’t fully staffed and make no move to become fully staffed when there’s a line. Especially during a busy season like two weeks before Christmas. It’s not exactly rocket science.)

Well, UPS wins again because Amazon has already received the package of books I was selling back, looked through them to check their condition, and deposited the gift card into my account. Meanwhile, I have yet to receive confirmation that the rented book I was returning via USPS was received. The one nice thing about having to stand in an interminable line to just drop off the damn package was that the lady gave me a receipt to prove I sent it. So if the package gets lost (which I think is highly probable), at least it won’t be on me; I postmarked the package within the required timeframe.

I’m pretty excited about the gift card, too; it’s a decent chunk of change. I already know some of the books I’m going to buy 🙂 It’ll be like an extended Christmas. (I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite parts of Christmas is the day after when I start buying myself fun stuff with the cash and gift cards that I receive.)

I’d be more stressed out about Christmas right now if I hadn’t wrapped (almost) all of my Christmas gifts today. But I did and they look good 🙂 It’s a fairly decent pile considering how broke I am.

Until tomorrow.

Aww Man

I’m mad at Amazon. I don’t want to be mad at Amazon. But then I didn’t want Amazon to ship The Dark Knight Rises to me via USPS. So, clearly I can’t get anything that I want.

I was annoyed when I saw that they shipped via USPS, but I thought that I ought to give them the benefit of the doubt. The USPS couldn’t possibly fail to deliver a package to me again, right?

You should know that I am positive that when I pre-ordered The Dark Knight Rises there was a box on the screen that guaranteed that it would be delivered on release day. Which is, y’know, today. I can’t prove it because it wasn’t something that I thought to document, but I swear it was there. It wasn’t the preorder price guarantee, it was a release day delivery guarantee.

And see, that’s my problem. I don’t get why Amazon would choose to use something as unpredictable as USPS to fulfill a guarantee like that. (I dunno, maybe Amazon doesn’t know what a “guarantee” is. Like the “reservation” at the car rental place in that episode of Seinfeld. Or Vizzini and “inconceivable.”)

For that matter, I don’t know why Amazon would ever use USPS to ship anything to Prime members. Let me say again, the USPS cannot be trusted. I mean, I have a tracking number for the Amazon shipment I am awaiting, but USPS.com says delivery information is not available or some such bullshit. I don’t know about you, but if I were a giant retailer and people paid me a lot of money for a year of 2-day shipping, I would only use carriers that use tracking numbers to, y’know, track packages. What the bloody hell is the point of my tracking number if it’s useless?

Grr arrgh.

And now I’ve written 300 words and I haven’t even gotten to the weird, condescending customer service rep I chatted with. First, she assured me that I hadn’t been charged for shipping because I am a Prime member and I was like, “if only that had been my issue.” (I didn’t say that, though; I only thought it. In retrospect, the whole chat session was so stilted and off-putting that I didn’t bring up half the things I was thinking. I bet they do that on purpose. I mean, she was way too slow of a typist for someone who types for a living.) I asked her if I could request that they only ship things to me via UPS and she said she’d add a note to my account, which would be great if it actually works (not holding my breath for that). Then she said, “I understand and respect your preferences Kristin and I am terribly sorry.” Wha??????? (That’s a direct quote, by the bye. I saved part of the chat.) Slightly condescending tone and fake sympathy all in one. Good job, Amazon customer service rep!

Anyways… The long and short of it is that I was all excited when I walked to my mailbox and then utterly crushed when there was no Amazon package. And that sucks. Especially since I can’t wait to watch The Dark Knight Rises again, but now I have to. Stupid Amazon. Stupid USPS. Stupid everything.

Until tomorrow.