Tag: swearing

Upselling Run Amok

My mom and I saw Divergent this afternoon (but more on that in a minute).

I always accompany my mom to the concession stand when we go to the movies, both to help carry her purchases and to make sure that I get what I want. This shouldn’t be difficult, but it is. Because heaven forbid the kid working the concession stand at the AMC Theatre actually sell me a fucking small soda.

I literally have trouble carrying any of their sodas bigger than a small and even the small is ginormous. But no, they don’t want to sell me a small soda; I must upgrade it. And it’s even worse because my mom is a member of the AMC Stubs program, which provides free upgrades for popcorn and sodas. So I end up practically having to yell at these kids that I understand I could get a larger soda for the same price, I just don’t want one. I literally told the girl today to stop trying to upsell me. (This was after her second attempt to coerce me into upgrading my soda.)

I understand that your manager has drilled into your head that you must always upsell, but at some point you should respect the customer as a human being who knows her own fucking mind. I mean, when I worked at the record store we were always supposed to try to get the customer to buy more than one item. And I’d suggest one of the dumb things we had at the register (disc repair kits and whatnot) if somebody came up with one CD. But if the customer was already buying multiple things I’d keep my mouth shut; I was getting my multi-sale so why harass the customer.

Hiccups at the concession stand aside, it was a lovely trip to the movies. Here’s a thing I hadn’t known going in, though: Divergent is a long-ass movie. And it felt even longer. I don’t know how they took such a well-paced page-turner of a book and turned it into a plodding movie, but they did. I think my mom liked it more than I did. (I think it helped that it wasn’t Hunger Games-level violent.) There were parts I really loved, even during the boring parts of the movie (most of them involved Four, because duh). But then there were things where I thought, “that’s not how it happened” (most of them involved Jeanine Matthews – I guess if you get Kate Winslet for your movie, you use her as much as possible). And there were things that I expected to see because they come up in the other books that weren’t in Divergent at all. So I don’t know how that’s going to be resolved in the other movies.

One thing that really bothered me was that I couldn’t tell Will and Al apart. This is not a problem I had reading the book. And the more I think about it, the more I wonder why they bothered including Al; they could’ve saved a few minutes without him and the film wouldn’t have been materially different.

I know I’m mostly complaining about the movie, but I really did like it. I just think they could’ve done better. And I have no idea if my opinion matches the Internet’s general opinion because I haven’t bothered to see what people thought. At the very least it’s good to know that it was one of the nine films this year that passed the Bechdel test.

One last thing about Divergent: my mom kinda didn’t believe me when I told her that Four was played by the same actor who played Downton Abbey‘s ill-fated Mr. Pamuk 🙂

Until tomorrow.

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Seriously?

I received mail from my mortgage lender yesterday. I’m pretty sure they owe me, like, a thousand bucks, so I was very excited to open it. But what did I find inside? A promotional letter informing me that I should contact them to refinance the loan before I go and refinance with some other lender.

What?

I sold the fucking house, you morons. You sent the letter to a different fucking address. Why did you think this was a good idea? This is nowhere near as bad as today’s Shutterfly fiasco, but it’s pretty bad. Your algorithm has some serious problems if it can’t separate the customers who sold their homes from the customers who refinanced. Yeesh.

Until tomorrow.

Fuckity Fuck

Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to get all the fucking swearing out of my system before Lent starts in an hour 🙂

Happy Fastnacht Day! I hope you got to celebrate with delicious doughnuts. I didn’t, but it was too much to hope that the US fucking Postal Service could ship a box of fastnachts a thousand miles in 24 hours. I even looked all around the bakery section of SuperTarget, but I didn’t really figure they’d have fastnachts either. They did have red velvet whoopie pies, though. (Not that they called them whoopie pies, but I know a fucking whoopie pie when I see it.) It didn’t help that I decided to read the Wikipedia page on fastnachts when I was bored at work.

In other news, I bought a Kindle today. Because, I mean, it was 50 bucks. Fifty fucking dollars! How could I not? (Which was, of course, the reaction Amazon was hoping for.) I think I’m done buying stuff now, though. I can’t really afford anything else. Not for a while. And now I’m thoroughly fucking depressed again. Yay!

Until tomorrow.

I Love It When A Plan Fails To Come Together

No, wait, that’s not right. I fucking hate it when a plan fails to come together. Especially when I did absolutely everything in my power to allow things to go as planned, only to have someone else completely shit the bed.

I was so excited to watch (part of) the Phillies’ first spring training game at work today. I left the house just after 6:30 in the morning to ensure that I was at the office by 8. That way I could take an hour for lunch, which I did at 1. It takes about five minutes to walk to my car from my desk, so I was ready to launch At Bat on my iPhone at 1:05 (just in time for first pitch). I even had a car charger ready since my iPhone battery no longer wants to hold a charge.

Everything was great; it was all going according to plan. And then At Bat was like, “oh, sure, there’s a game being played, but you can’t watch the video feed or listen to the audio feed.” (It implied this by failing to provide options for either feed.) I took to Twitter to voice my displeasure and saw that lots of other people were having the same issue on multiple devices.

Once I got back to my desk I may have logged into my MLB.tv account just to see if it would work. (It did. I’m kind of surprised it wasn’t blocked on the network, though.) I decided to try At Bat one more time and, to my surprise, TV and radio feeds were finally available. Only an hour late, but who’s counting? (Me. I’m counting.) I tried the TV feed first and it had (unsurprising) issues with buffering, so I listened to Franzke and LA call the game on the radio until that feed started having issues. I consoled myself that I’d be able to watch the archived game once I got home from work.

Turns out I was wrong. When I got home the only archived game available to me (on iPhone, iPad, and Apple TV) was the Dodgers game. I put it on because a) baseball and b) I was pretty sure Vin Scully called it. (He did.) At about 8:30 I decided to look one last time for the Phillies on my iPad before I gave up and watched the game online. Well, the archived game had finally shown up, so I finally got to watch it.

Someone at MLBAM needs to be fired for this debacle, though. I know that this is the most luxurious of luxury problems. And I know that demanding someone be fired is a super douche-y move. But there should be consequences for a product launch this fucked up. Did the start of spring training games catch them unawares? Did no one ever realize that the pretty new iOS 7 version of the app needed to provide paying customers that which they paid for? (Scores and news and highlights are great and all, but there are a million other places I can get those things. I pay for MLB.tv Premium to stream live games.)

Incompetence makes me so angry, you guys.

Until tomorrow.

Dammit

I received notification that I will be issued a new credit card because I used my credit card at Target during that dangerous hacked period after Thanksgiving. Never mind that in the two months since Target was hacked there has been no fraudulent activity on my card. (I know because I’ve checked.) Nope, I’m getting completely fucked over by my credit card bank anyway.

See, the credit card in question was (please note the use of past tense) my everyday card; I used it for everything. Including online purchases and recurring payments and a billion other things that I now have to update the billing information for. If my credit card bank had decided to issue me a new credit card shortly after the Target hack was announced I would’ve understood; it would’ve sucked, but I wouldn’t have gotten mad. But waiting two months (during which time I fooled myself into thinking I was probably in the clear) to give me a new card pissed me the hell off and that bank can go fuck itself.

I’ll be using a new everyday card from now on, thankyouverymuch. I mean, if I have to change my billing information anyway, I may as well change it to a card I already have on hand.

Until tomorrow.

Wha???

I just saw that Neutral Milk Hotel is playing Bonnaroo. Not Jeff Mangum. Neutral Milk Hotel. How the fuck did I not know that Neutral Milk Hotel had gotten back together??

I miss fucking everything now. Stupid job that keeps me from Twitter.

And I just discovered that they’re playing the Mann in Philly, like, two weeks after Brand New. I’m going to have to think about that for a while. At least I know what I’ll be listening to at work tomorrow 🙂

Until tomorrow.